Letter to the Editor

To the Editors:

I wonder if Alex Collazo’s column ("Sex more, sex harder," Feb. 14)—and all of the sexual hooplah surrounding Valentine’s Day—misses the point of the day. Valentine’s is not about sexual statistics. Breaking down the amount of sex we have into numbers and percentages actually seems somewhat anti-Valentine’s Day. Otherwise, we would be buying alcohol and condoms rather than chocolate and roses. Valentine’s Day is about the simple intersection between romance and sex. In fact, it’s the only day in the calendar that we hear a basic truth about our sex lives: Sex is better in a relationship.

Every person that I’ve spoken to about this agrees. Sex is better when you know each other intimately already, know each others’ likes and dislikes. You don’t have to fumble around figuring it out. No mistakes. No awkwardness. There’s no worry about whether he’ll like this or she’ll be into that. Cuddling beforehand releases the hormones that make sex mind-blowing. For the lazy, there’s the ability to have sex in the middle of the day. For the beleaguered and Butler-bound, there’s the possibility of actually getting work done afterward. And then, not to be underestimated, is the fact that having sex with someone you respect always makes you feel better in the morning.

I wonder why Columbia’s perceived sexual dysfunction is about the amount we have sex. It seems to be that the quality of sex matters more than the quantity. The quality of sex will only improve if we have more opportunity to meet each other in a way that is social without being so academic as to preclude the possibility of a sexual relationship. Columbia notoriously lacks a community feeling after NSOP week. We’re all stuck in dorms where we can’t have ragers. The University has shut down some of the fraternities where we can and destroys traditions like “Forties on Forty” that could form the social lubricant of our stressful four years here. The “War on Fun” has the indirect effect of hurting the quality, not just the quantity, of our sexual liasions. On the other hand, I’m studying abroad this year, so the quality of my sex life is fine, thank you very much.

Jesse Eiseman, CC ’13